Petals & Bones Interview

Hey, guys! I did the below interview with Leilani Clark a few months back, just before leaving San Francisco for Berlin. Somehow, I never got around to sharing it with everybody. A staff writer for the North Bay Bohemian in California, Leilani is also the co-founder of the kick-ass online publication called Petals & Bones. Every Friday, they feature an interview with a writer or public figure, and I was lucky enough that she chose me to participate! xx, abs

I first met Abigail Wick when we were students together in the MFA Writing and Consciousness Program at California Institute of Integral Studies. Impressed by her ability to string  together an impeccable sentence, as well as her singular voice, I’ve followed Abigail’s writing adventures since we graduated in 2008. Over the past few months, her fantastic food blog “Eating With Abs” has been taking off! It’s no wonder since she writes about food with an ecstatic appreciation that would make anyone want to fill their plate with kale and local delicious cheese instead of a hamburger.

1)     Can you give some background on your writing life? How did you become a writer? What kinds of projects have you completed? Did you get a degree in writing or English?

For many years, I told myself I was a writer and I wrote. Now, I don’t have to tell myself I’m a writer anymore, I just write. My current passion project is Eating with Abs. What began as a wee food-writing blog about whole-earth ecology and plant-based nutrition has bloomed into a series of cooking shows, contributing columnists, an unbelievable readership, interviews with some of the most influential visionaries in agricultural sustainability, and expansive dreams to help foment  a radical re-imagining of food culture in the US. I come from a working-class family in small-town America, and everything I do stems from the desire to bring my folks the news of real food. By developing a set of practical suggestions for people living on a budget, I want to make fresh, whole, local foods not only a possibility, but a preference. And I want to do it with elegance, glamour, 100-percent accessibility, and endorsement of healthy lifestyle choices that maximize quality of life, and minimize wasteful consumerism. It’s about fracturing the narrative of edible, food-like substances—the packaged, processed imitation food that dominates shelves in grocery stores. However, I would never say something as crass as “Don’t eat that nasty stuff.” People don’t want to feel attacked or judged. Nobody wants to be criticized. Instead, I say, “Here is some freaking amazing stuff that makes me feel good, and maybe it will make you feel good, too. I don’t want anything but to be a messenger from the margins to the mainstream, to empower people through food, and to have a direct and positive influence that changes lives from the inside out.

2)     How do you stay motivated to be creative? Where do your ideas come from?

Creativity isn’t some precious attribute that distinguishes the artist as special or eccentric. I hate that attitude. That’s bullshit. Art is a choice. Art is the dignity of perspective. Life has absolutely no meaning; you assign meaning to it. How you choose to exist directly and particularly shapes what it means to be human. Everything that you do is a radical act of art because of how you choose to engage and understand the world. By sheer dint of your existence, your life is a work of art unfolding. That’s all the motivation I need.

3)     What advice would you give to somebody who wants to be more creative or bring more creativity into their work?

Through the simple fact of being alive, you are infinitely powerful and creative. There’s nothing interesting or unique about creating excuses for yourself, being riddled with a sense of inadequacy or self-created “issues.” You’re not special because of your insecurities. You’re special because of how you banish that pain, get over yourself, and start being exactly the person you are capable of being. So, you want to be creative? Then wake up every morning and tell yourself you are creative, and behave like you are. That’s it. Anything else is just a tired, dull excuse obscuring the truth of your own inherent gifts. If you want to be something, be it

4)     How important is discipline to your creative output? How important is idle time and relaxation?

All of my experiences and activities feel so harmonized and integrated right now. I am hurtling toward life at the same rate it’s hurtling toward me. Every setback is an opportunity. My work and play feed one another to the point that they’re indistinguishable. I just make, synthesize, and do. Whatever it is—practicing yoga, grieving, writing marketing copy, cleaning the bathroom, comforting a friend, crafting a magazine article, riding my bike for miles and miles—I just want to do it with a sense of joy, purpose, and commitment. If not that, then what else?

5)     What does a typical day look like for you?

A farmer rises before the sun and immediately sets to work. If a farmer doesn’t tend to the alfalfa fields or cherry groves, relieve the udders of the goats or cows, and weed the family vegetable garden, the farmer is defying the fact that if he strays, crops will fail and animals will die. On a day-to-day basis, not only the farmer’s livelihood, but also that of the land and all its inhabitants, depends on that farmer to wake up, whether he wills it or not, and take care of the farm that he has ushered into existence. He works long, tiring hours with gains that are measurable only over the course of time, with the changing of seasons.

It’s this same sense of duty, responsibility, and patience with which I strive to approach my writing. I never live up to this ideal, not wholly, but what’s the sense of courting mediocrity? As a freelance writer, everything is on the line—like paying rent or medical insurance. It’s very real and a little scary. Still, what’s most at stake, for me, is a sense of self-worth and that I’m giving my best to the world.

So, every morning, I wake up and I write.

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Early Autumn Pumpkin Soup | Columnist Alina Rudya

Kiev-born photographer and foodie Alina Rudya now calls Berlin her home-base. We recently did a photo shoot together in Mauer Park for her forthcoming series entitled ‘Twilight’ and a few weeks ago co-hosted a fabulous cocktail party at my apartment in East Berlin. In the following photo-essay, Alina has crafted a step-by-step guide to an early-autumn pumpkin-and-potato puree that is illustrated with images. As she says:  ”I love eating healthy–probably because I’m such a visually-oriented person and always imagine myself as a composite of the foods that nourish me. Greasy hamburgers are definitely not what I’m going for–a cute carrot is just so much fresher. I’m one of those lucky people who not only enjoys, but in fact prefers, her veggies.” Without further ado, y’all, the talented Ms. Rudya!

Today was one of those lazy, late-summer/early-fall days. I did some reading and writing, and even went shopping for some new shoes. Come afternoon, I wanted to whip-up a late lunch that was simple and quick. At the market, I picked up a small pumpkin, one of the first of the gorgeous fall gourds showing up this season. From there, my whole meal fell into place!

My roommate sometimes leaves veggies in the fridge for too long, and since his zucchini was about to turn, I claimed it to transform into my masterpiece. I chopped up the zucchini, along with two yellow potatoes and an onion.
While I fried the diced onion, I sliced the pumpkin.
Then, I combined everything in a small pot and added enough water to cover the veggies, as well as salt and pepper. I boiled everything until soft and pulled out my favorite kitchen appliance–the hand-held mixer that you see here. It only cost 11-Euros, and is perhaps the best money I’ve ever spent!

Just puree the veggies, and you have on your hands a brilliant soup! The whole process took less than 30-minutes, and it paired wonderfully with cream cheese and a few thin slices of dark-brown bread. Guten appetit! Love, Alina

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French Women Don’t Get Fat

French Women Don’t Get Fat is both a truism and the eponymous title of Mireille Guiliano’s lifestyle tome, which catapulted to number one on The New York Times bestseller list, has been translated into 40 languages, and sold over three million copies worldwide. Her book is but one of innumerable examples of a global fascination with the French woman’s way. How she embodies a deeply feminine essence, ages regally while maintaining an ageless luminosity, and upholds an unassailable fashion sensibility is a subject worth probing. This week’s Sex by Numbers offers a topical exploration of six signature elements that distinguish French women and their je ne sais quoi.

Don’t get fat. Given America’s hyper-sensitivity to identity politics, a statement of this sort could engender censure as a fat-phobic epithet. French women, however, are leagues apart from their American female counterparts, especially in their utter unfamiliarity with the concept of dieting to shed chubbiness. A Parisian woman has never had to learn how to lose weight, because she would never allow herself to gain even one kilo in the first place. Attribute it to the French Paradox lifestyle and the city girl’s penchant for strutting down the sidewalk in heels for hours on end as she attends to her daily errands.

Feasts and fêtes. French women eat well and drink well. Whereas in the United States, AA meetings and DARE programs school us that if you drink every day, then you must be an alcoholic. France, apparently, is full of them, but not in their own estimation. They instead regard spirits as another food group, pairing eating and drinking with one another as a daily ritual, rather than consuming to excess on a weekend binger. Wine has as much a place on the kitchen table as the water carafe and salt-and-pepper shakers. This aspect of integration and balance is key. Take as another example crème brûlée and crêpes. These decadent dishes are richest and most pleasure providing for the first three bites, ones that French women appreciate slowly and with intention. French women share a single dessert with their companion or dining party, and have learned since they were little girls to hone their sensory organs to relish in the physical now. And, once pleasured, they put down their forks.

Simulate the catwalk. Parisian women are proud of their city, a veritable playground of wondrous architecture, luscious gardens, and a feast of fashion. At every turn, women are dressed to the nines. Their makeup is never garish, but rather minimal and effective. Their hair is coiffed and styled. Their clothes – blazers, cigarette pants, scarves tied at the throat, all manner of stripes, backless crocheted tops, full-length skirts – are a product of rigorous cultural styling and thoroughgoing care. These ladies never leave the house without paying attention to their belts and earrings, and their commitment to putting their best self forward, as healthy, sensual, active creatures.

Haute on foot. Whereas sports and physical wellness are often propped-up as a hallmark of weight loss in American culture, French women wouldn’t be caught dead at the gym. Elliptical machines and kickboxing? Non, merci. They might do yoga a few times a week or take a dip in the Riviera during the summer, but their primary mode of physical activity is stalking the promenade dressed to make your jaw drop. From the bakery for a baguette, to the vegetable market for produce for the evening’s dinner, to a post-prandial stroll with their children and husband in tow, these ladies have gams and slim hips that testify to a lifestyle that celebrates bipedal motion.

Prioritize beauty. The French woman’s maxim – minimal effort and maximal pleasure – encompasses tending to her body. Upkeep comes once a week (think every Sunday evening). On this day, she ritualizes the maintenance of the small, womanly things that keep her mod: spending an hour with an oil treatment on her hair, wearing a clay face mask, entertaining a pedicure, and otherwise addressing one’s corporeal self for a few moments before resuming life.

Savor the good life. The cliche exists for a reason. French women drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, sip espresso mid-afternoon, eat dessert with every dinner, and generally approach day to day life with ease and joy. Every occasion, no matter how quotidian, warrants celebration of existence. French femmes savor the sweetness of the moment, extracting the breadth and depth of experiences with their children, friends, lovers, and family. It is this continual commitment to the good life, a constancy of pleasure, that permits the aforementioned indulgences that Americans might regard as taboo. When self-restraint and moderation provide the context for seeking enjoyment, happiness and satiety are the beating heart of a long and beautiful life, inside and out.

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Women Are Complicated

Except when we’re super-simple, and the only thing that we want after a hard session of evening yoga is a scrumptious raw salad paired with a nice Spanish wine, sparkling water, and Deutsch Vogue. To all the men out there:  Take heed.

Happiness.

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Ellen ‘n’ Abs Prepare Salads on Opposite Sides of the Atlantic

She’s wicked-cool, a California farm-to-table maven, and also one of my best foodie friends: Eating with Abs Contributing Columnist Ellen Roggeman. Last week, she posed a DIY summer side-dish challenge. Using regional produce from our respective residences—-Ellen is in San Francisco, and I’m in Berlin—-we agreed to create scrumptious, five-ingredient salads bursting with surprises. Creativity excels when constraints are imposed upon its production, and culinary art is no exception. She and I each spent Saturday afternoon at our favorite farmers’ markets in search of the following locally-produced and -crafted sum’n sum’ns:

  1.  Leafy Green
  2. Fruit
  3. Herb
  4. Cheese
  5. Chef’s-Choice Surprise Ingredient

Ellen's Grilled Lettuce filled with Straus Sour Cream and topped with Bing Cherries and Almonds

Ellen’s Grilled Lettuce: In our 5-ingredient salad challenge Abs and I decided to compare what is seasonally delicious in our two distant homes.  We’ve always loved to cook together–that’s how we met, in fact–so why let a huge ocean get in the way?  Our mission was to create something tantalizing from a green, a fruit, an herb, a cheese, and a secret ingredient.  Berlin or San Francisco, NJ (my home state) or Texas (hers)–no matter where you live or where you come from seasonal can always be yummy.

Inspiration for my creation came from a wacky idea introduced to me by one of my farmer’s market customers years ago:  grilled lettuce! And what better day than at a friend’s festive barbaque?! Grilling isn’t for all lettuces.  I can only imagine the smoldering mess that would become of an iceberg head or floppy red leaf.  But grilling is perfectly suited for 1) Little Gem lettuce, the adorable result of a bubbly Butter lettuce falling in love with a stately Romaine.

Texas-shaped cutting board!

I sliced the small heads in halves on my friend’s Texas shaped cutting board, which of course made me think of you, Abs.  Sprinkled them with 2) olive oil and tossed them on the grill and let both sides get a bit charred and wilty as I sipped on some Calistoga white wine.  Chopped up some 3) sweet Bing cherries, made a thyme dressing with 4) Straus sour cream (Abigail, this is their newest product and I’ll have to bring you some when I visit you because it is ridiculously delicious), and crushed a few Massa Farms 5) raw almonds for crunch factor.  It was a real masterpiece.

Abs' sauteed Arugula lettuce and summer squash topped with basil, blueberries, and Roquefort

The goods!

Abs’ Super-Swell Summer Salad: I prepared a hot salad, too! I sauteed 1) Arugula (green) with 2) yellow summer-squash (surprise ingredient) and topped it off with fresh 3) blueberries (fruit), 4) basil from my window box (herb), and 5) Roquefort (cheese). An elite, sheep’s milk blue-cheese that comes from a highly-specific, discrete region in the South of France called Roquefort-sur-Soulzon, French law actually regulates that only cheese from this region can be called Roquefort, sustaining a centuries’-old legacy of this artisanal dairy product.

Guten appetit, y’all!!

xoxo, abs

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Lipid Love | Columnist Michael Ulrich

Contributing columnist Michael Ulrich is a real looker, y’all, hailing straight from the annals of sexy produce-section management. That’s right, he spends his work days coordinating with regional fruit-and-vegetable farmers to stock his San Francisco-based boutique-grocery store, Canyon Market, with one of the most enviable produce selections around. When I was living in California, it was always my distinct pleasure to make an evening grocery run and bump into Michael. What girl doesn’t love it when the super-cute, super-swell produce guy helps her pick out the season’s choicest persimmons, parsnips, and pomelos? He also has a formidable mind and knows a thing or two about healthy eating and at-home culinary art. In the following article, Michael gives us the skinny on fat—specifically, he addresses which oils are best for your bodacious body and your healthy kitchen. Happy noshing, y’all! xxo, abs

Fats, Flavor and Fulfillment

Fats, protein and carbohydrates. We need all three, and we need them every day. But the science is far from settled as to how much of each and exactly which kinds. For the last half-century, the lipid hypothesis has held sway, recommending diets low in fat for overall health and cardiovascular health. More recently, low-carb and high-protein myths stormed our dietary discourse–along with plenty of controversy.

Thankfully, some shrewd nutritionists and food writers are making the case that the qualitieof our macronutrients are of at least equal importance to their respective quantities. After all, traditional populations thrived on diets of vastly different macronutrition. (Inuits obtained the majority of their calories from maritime animal fat, in stark contrast to, say, the squash-beans-corn equation of Mesoamerican societies). In this article, I’m here to help redeem fats—specifically, foolproof vegetarian fats in the form of pressed oils that will lubricate your palate.

Basket of fresh-picked olives from groves in Provence, France.

Olive Oil: It’s been called liquid gold for millennia, but there’s no better time than the present to be enriched by olive oil. Artisanal, small-scale presses have proliferated, especially in the hospitable Mediterranean climate of Northern California. Over a dozen small presses thrive in Yolo County alone, which just so happens to be the original hotbed of Community-Supported Agriculture. Small olive oil producers can be found at your local farmer’s markets, and what’s more, they’ll let you taste their varieties, helping you zero-in on your preference: robust, buttery, delicate, fruity, nutty, and even gamey. The fullness of a fatty tasting olive oil is ideal for supporting the flavor of cooked produce, while the variously striking or subtle tones of other oils introduce their own distinct flavors. Selectively use the delicate, artisinal oils for raw applications, like dressing and dipping, as well as drizzling over a cooked meal that has already made its way to your plate. I’m sure you don’t need any more convincing that olive oil is good for your heart, so I won’t mention a single thing about oleic acid.

Halved coconut.

Coconut Oil: Undoubtedly the fruit of the decade, the coconut continues to reveal its awesome versatility to the Western food-conscious eater, best evidenced by the soaring popularity of coconut’s naturally isotonic water, not to mention coconut milk, the foundation of Thai curries. Coconut oil is solid at room temperature and rich in easily-assimilated, energy-dense medium chain triglycerides. Even better, several of these fatty acids assist your immune system as antimicrobial agents, especially lauric acid and caprylic acid. For low-heat applications, find organic extra virgin, cold-pressed oil that looks lightly marbled. When working with higher heat, use refined coconut oil to prevent smoking and oxidation. This fat introduces a spirit of sweet coconut flavor, which becomes more transparent with continued use. Coconut oil tames the bitterness of brassicas like broccoli and kale, and melts sweetly into a bed of grain. That is to say, it’s incredible for stir fries. And if you’re in search of a solid, spreadable fat from a vegetarian source, ditch the margarine and consider coconut oil.

Smaller Role Players:

Toasted Sesame Seeds

Sesame oil: Both toasted and un-toasted sesame oils quickly lend an Eastern taste to your salads and stir-fries, and are indispensable for those who are eschewing soy. One of my favorite breakfasts, borrowed from a Buddhist monk, is millet porridge cooked in ginger broth, with celeriac, carrots and sesame oil.

Chili oil: Actually chili-infused oil, these little bottles should be in your pantry, at the ready for your next foray into Eastern cuisine. Look for a chili oil that uses sesame oil or olive oil as a base (instead of soybean oil) and has no added sugar.

Nut oils: Almond, walnut, pistachio, hazelnut, pecan–there are as many nut oils as there are nuts. Each bears the essence of its progenitor, and all are better for flavoring applications than for basic lubrication. Dressings, marinades, desserts and the finishing touch of pasta dish–these are just some ideas. Use your flavor-combining intuition.

Truffle oil: A strange fog floats up toward the back of your throat, a profoundly tactile aroma–it could only be truffles. There’s nothing else like it, and while certainly weird, it’s undeniably enjoyable and defiantly complex. Most truffle oil is made by infusing truffle extract into a neutral-flavored oil, like sunflower oil. Usually described as “earthy” in taste, truffle oils are especially recommended for bringing depth and fullness to starchy dishes.

*******

Below are some modest recipes with flamboyant flavor. Enjoy!

Grapefruits

Citrus Salad with Sesame and Chili Oils: Mix pomelo (or grapefruit) wedges into a salad of crisp romaine hearts, pan-toasted cashews, mung bean sprouts, sesame and chili oils, and sea salt.

Japanese Sweet Potatoes with Coconut Oil: Cut off the ends, and bake sweet potatoes in their jackets at 400 degrees for 60-90 minutes, until the interiors are mashed easily with a fork. Let cool to room temperature, open up the sweets like a baked potato, and slather with coconut oil, and a bit of sea salt if you’re feeling it. Behold the power of some of the most nutrient-rich carbs combined with wholesome fats: a spare combination yields dessert-like delectation.

On a final note, visit Abigail’s Eating with Abs fan page, because I really, really like it and bet you will, too.

Images: genevieveromierSingChanMysticDewsSerieAdict@

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Why I Love Cooking for Friends

On the chopping block

My kitchen is perhaps the most vital element of my soul. Procuring farm-fresh produce and preparing it for others is how I write my love letter to the world. Spending time in the kitchen, for me, is both a meditation and an artistic act. The creation of a meal–the time spent chopping scallions, using a nutcracker to remove walnut meat from its shell, or tending to a pot of fair-trade brown rice and red lentils–nourishes in me a peace that passeth understanding. It’s a quiet hour in which I reflect on the sun and rain and soil; I feel grateful for the farm workers tending the fields and harvesting the earth’s bounty; and I offer-up my gratitude and joy by transforming their labors into a delicious, healthy meal for the people I love. Food creates meaning, place, and culture.

The other night, I had over to my Mitte-Prenzlauer border apartment my friend Francys–he’s a Brazilian expatriate who now resides in Berlin and one of the dearest, most-soulful men I know. The best sort of cooking, for me, is off-the-cuff—-my own version of improvisational jazz which, when done right, is a combination of science and poetry. What’s more, it’s a homemade, DIY gift to friends! Like a birthday bash and Christmas all rolled into one, in August.

Lentils, rice, and lots of veggies

 

Francys

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Bubbly, Idolatry, & Muesli

Some days, it’s tempting to throw in the towel and let life get you down—freelance writing means 12-hour work days and mere pennies in my pocketbook; summer in Berlin means sheets of cold rain that aren’t letting up after weeks on end; and many of my girlfriends seem to have a case of the blues, which doesn’t do much to promote to the group’s good cheer. Still, I’m a full-steam-ahead idolator of life—meaning, I might see a few ruts in the road but am maximally focused on only the hot shit, all of the time. How can I not be ecstatically in love with all of this curious chance and chaos? It might knock you down, but by god if it doesn’t let you get right back up again and keep forging ahead. I can definitely toast to that—and I’m doing so (literally) with an afternoon glass of Demeter-certified Proseco. Any life that includes a little bubbly can’t be half-bad.

I have so much to be grateful for, not least of which is that it’s my job to write about what I had for lunch, and what a swell one it was: watermelon cup; dish of fresh yogurt from a small farm on the outskirts of Berlin, topped with flax seeds and cinnamon; and my new-favorite German wonder-food, Muesli bread. A rich, multi-grain roll packed with toasted whole-oats, nuts, seeds, and dried fruit–all baked with a crisp, heavenly crust and a moist, delectable interior.

Cheers (Prost!) to weekend workdays! xx, abs

 

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Post Punk Kitchen | Creamy, Golden-Green Avocado Potato Salad

If you haven’t already heard, the Post Punk Kitchen (PPK) is the shit. Yes, it freaking is. PPK began as the badass brainchild of Isa Chandra Moskowitz, who was born and raised in effing Brooklyn, baby. With her gal pal Terry Hope Romero, the two raven-haired beauties began writing cookbooks (including the DIY-eats bible, Veganomicon) that monumentally impacted the plant-based edible landscape. PPK’s blog is awesome, Isa is magnificently gorgeous, and her food (not to mention food-porn pictures) freaking knock me off my feet. Isa is the real deal, y’all.

A few weeks back, guest columnist Rachel Znerold shared with you her Papas Verdes recipe for Cinco de Mayo, and below you will find a Post Punk adaptation of the basic avocado-and-potato blend, a golden-green dream for any summer occasion. Happy healthy-noshing, y’all. I send heaps of love and happy kitchen forays your way. Big hug and, without further ado, Ms. Terry Hope Romero! xoxo, abs

Potato salad with a silky, creamy guac instead of mayo? Seriously. This is a favorite from Vegan Brunch, and I wanted to put it up for you just in case you’re looking for something a little different for your BBQ this Memorial Day. It’s ridiculously simple to make and beyond delicious.

The secret to the creaminess is a food processor. Prepare this as close to serving time as possible. It can sit for a couple of hours, but anything more than that and the avocado will brown.

2 lbs fingerling potatoes, cut into 3/4 inch chunks
2 avocados
2 tablespoons lime juice, from a lime or two
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper (optional)
1 plum tomato, chopped
1 small red onion, diced small
1 smallish cucumber, diced very small

Scallions for garnish (optional)

Put potatoes in a pot and cover with water. Cover pot, bring water to a boil. Lower the heat to a rolling boil and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, until potatoes are easily pierced with a fork. Drain and set aside to cool.

Once potatoes have cooled, prepare the dressing. Split the avocado in half, remove the seed and scoop the yumminess into the food processor. Add the lime juice and salt and puree until smooth, scraping down the sides with a spatula as needed. Once smooth and creamy, add the tomato and onion. Pulse until they are incorporated but not completely blended. You should still be able to see the tomato and onion.

Put the potatoes and cucumbers in a large mixing bowl and mix them up. Add the dressing and mix well. Taste for salt and spice. Wrap tightly and chill until ready to use. Top with scallions, if you like.

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Having Him Over for Dinner

 

The term summer love connotes a carefree, casual relationship in which sex is sweet and simple – questions of long-term companionship are less relevant than good, old-fashioned animal attraction. But sometimes, that summer sweetheart turns out to be somebody who might interest you beyond the sunshine months. It’s this stage when “we’re-just-friends” becomes a courtship, and the time has arrived to invite him to your apartment for a proper, home-cooked dinner. Eating in ushers a new level of intimacy to a budding relationship. Maybe he’s dropped by your house for an aperitif before going out to dinner, which is all well and good, but preparing him a meal is a sensual and spiritual act that lends a new level of meaning to dating. This week’s Sex by Numbers offers you guidelines, tips, and even menu suggestions for your first date dining in together.

Minimal Effort, Maximal Pleasure: A good hostess, whether it’s for a party with a guest list of 50 or a tête-à-tête over the table, attends to the details with a gestalt view in mind. Over-anxiety and micro-management undercuts the fun. Unexpected events are inevitable, and a c’est la vie spirit will serve you well when, as is bound to happen, you overcook the brown-rice pilaf or burn your index finger while pulling roasted root vegetables from the oven. It’s your chance to show how you are a live-and-let-live person who can roll with the punches, laugh-off missteps and, if the going gets rough, call in for Chinese food take-out.

Cool & Casual: Over-preparing not only curries stress, but can also come across as over-manicured and be a turn off. In the early stages of a relationship, nobody wants to be the object of too much affection. Yes, tidy your flat – it’s a reflection of your taste and values – but don’t go out of your way to scrub down the baseboards in the bathroom. You are establishing the environment for the evening, and a comfortable, lived-in space is more appealing than one that smells of antiseptic. If you normally keep a vase of fresh-cut flowers on the kitchen table, leave it that way – it’s casual and natural to you – but buying red roses or anything else that’s overtly romantic will stamp-out the vibe before it’s even begun.

Dress Down: Bare feet are sexy. So are jeans and a simple cotton tshirt. At the end of the day, your best self is your simplest and most natural self, and playing it down is an opportunity to offer him an honest view of, well,you. Clean, air-dried hair that smells of all natural shampoo, minimal makeup, and cozy clothing set the tone for deeper intimacy and connection. You can even sex-up your jeans-and-white-tshirt ensemble by donning a bright-colored bra underneath. For that matter, why even wear one at all?

Bone-Up on Booze: The fairer sex is less inclined to shore-up on a private collection of spirits – really, how many single women do you know with a well stocked liquor cabinet? But investing in a small, diverse sampling of organic wines that includes red, rosé, white and sparkling, as well as a couple of pale ale and dark lager microbrews will serve you well as a hostess for all occasions. Better yet, ensure that you have drinks appropriate for palates of all persuasions and keep in your cabinet a bottle of sake, a Japanese rice wine, and soju, a distilled beverage from Korea that is low in alcohol and suitable for the preparation of cocktails.

Farm Fresh: Fantastic food starts with ingredients that are sourced seasonally and locally – the bright colors and vibrant flavors of organic fruits and vegetables from regional farms are the pillars of a successful meal. Develop a minimal, easy-to-prepare menu that emphasizes high-quality produce prepared elegantly and simply. Invest time and care into meal planning, but not too much – remember keep the dinner and your expectations of it light and casual. Serve small, healthy, artfully-plated portions in four courses – appetizer, salad, main, and dessert. Below, find a summery sample menu appropriate for novice and experienced at-home chefs alike. 

Rustic Hors d’œuvres:

Thinly slice seven-grain bread from your neighborhood bakery and serve on a large wood cutting board along with a medium-sized bowl ofcrudités, (a pretty French word for raw vegetables cut into matchstick shape and meant for dipping), and include red and yellow Bell peppers, carrots, broccoli florets, and celery. Pair with small bowls of olive tapenade, hummus, and pine-nut pesto sourced from a local deli or organic market.

Grapefruit & Avocado Salad:

In a large bowl, gently toss pink grapefruit segments, avocado slices, and minced garlic with juice from a fresh-squeezed lemon. Season with a pinch of curry powder and salt-and-pepper to taste. Serve on a small bed of Arugula leaves.

Lentil, Fennel, & Blood Orange Entrée:

In a large bowl, gently toss cooked lentils with thinly sliced fennel and blood orange segments. In a separate small bowl, whisk together one part red wine vinegar and two parts top shelf olive oil, fresh grated ginger, minced shallots, and salt and pepper to taste. Pour vinaigrette over the lentil, fennel, and blood orange salad and combine well. Serve with mint leaf garnish.

Coconut Sorbet with Olive Oil & Sea Salt:

In a small dessert dish, spoon one scoop of boutique, organic coconut sorbet. Drizzle with olive oil and top it off with a pinch of sea salt.

I first published this article with EcoSalon in my weekly Sex by Numbers column. They’re so on it!

Image: Evil Erin

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